Yes, I am still learning, learning to ask for help when I need it. I find this hard to do at the best of times. I’ve always been someone who has done pretty much everything by myself and not been one to share my troubles, even with my wife.
Asking for help, I think is probably one of the most hardest things for men to do, especially when it’s mental or emotional. Going to the doctor even just for an annual check up, isn’t something that most men do. So when it is for emotional or mental help, most men would just run the other way, saying “it’s alright, I’m ok, it’ll pass” or “I’m a man, I can’t get emotional, I’ve just got to be stronger”.
Well, let me tell you, I was like that on way more than one occasion. Just the thought of even saying that I can’t do this on my own to someone I see everyday still to this day makes me nervous. So saying this to someone who I either don’t know so well, or even someone who I only see when I need to get another script for my high blood pressure can be very daunting to say the least.
The day when everything crashed around me, I called my wife and told her how I felt. I also told her that I needed to see a doctor, but wanted her to be with me. As I stood up to go into the doctors office, I asked that she also come in with me so I would feel more comfortable. Having someone in there who I knew and trusted would make it easier for me to talk about what I had been feeling. Having my wife in there also allowed the doctor to ask her some things too.
Even easier things may be hard for some of us too. When things became too hard for me to do outside in our backyard, my initial thought was “who can I trust to do things my way?”. So, I immediately thought, “well, why not my wife”. So, one Saturday morning armed with a 2 stroke petrol brush cutter, I and my lovely wife Michelle, who I might add is about 5 foot 2 inches, stood out of the footpath looking at the disheveled edges. After some instruction on how to start the brush cutter, my wife tried unsuccessfully to get it started. After starting it for her, Michelle started to carefully trim the edges of our footpath, only to have me yell “stop! Your doing it all wrong!”. She was cutting the grass about 20cm in from the edge. Hmm, gonna have to rethink this one……
My dad, after a phone call to him telling him of the situation, said that he would come and do the edges for us when needed. Well, I can tell you that Michelle had much better success with the lawn mower. It may not be perfect or done exactly how I would do it, but it’s done. I have since, had to ask for help from others to help out with a number of things around the yard and had to learn that others may do things differently.