How do I fill in my days? This is a question that people often ask me. Most of the time I just say that I spend a lot of it lying on the lounge or in my recliner watching TV. Which, isn’t far from the truth.
Tag Archives: friends
I never look forward to Mondays, or Sunday nights for that matter. Not because it’s the start of the new week. Or for the fact that Michelle and the girls will be at work and school during the day, leaving me at home alone.
But because late Sunday night I go through withdrawals, as I come off the narcotic drug which I have needed to be on for the weekend or sometimes just for Sunday. A drug, just so that I can bear the increased pain of sitting, standing and walking as a result of going to church, the wanting to be social and trying to have a ‘normal’ life/weekend like everyone else.
I do have to laugh when I catchup with some people who I haven’t seen for a year or more. They see me walking ever so slowly and ask me what’s wrong? Most of them remember that I have had a bad back for some time. But the funniest time was when I recently saw a friend who we hadn’t seen for about a year. After explaining how things have gotten worse and that there is no fix for my back, he says “oh, so you really did have a sore back.”
It’s December already and Christmas is nearly upon us. The shops have had Christmas trees and decorations out since, well, it would seem forever. We are madly rushing around the shops for that present or looking at our calendar thinking, “how are we going to fit in all these Christmas parties?”
This is now the 5th week of being off work on sick leave. In this time I have changed pain medications, going off high dosage of Paracetamol/Codine (equivalent to 15mg of morphine per day) for 3 months. With the past 2 months of slowly reducing that dosage and replacing it with a non addictive drug called Gabapentin. I also now am on 2 different antidepressant drugs. One mainly to help me sleep, as for most of this year I have been only able to get 2 or 3 hours of broken sleep each night, as I was waking up each time I moved due to the pain.
My thoughts wandered and this made me feel a little sad today.
As I was unsteadily got up from my chair with the aid of my walking stick to make some lunch, I thought back to the time when things were easier. Times when driving a car, doing things around the house, going to work, even tying my own shoe laces was something I just took for granted.
Last night we had our friends (although they are like family to us) come over for Tacos and Monopoly. Oh, and also to take both our daughters for a ride on one of their motorbikes, which they anxiously wait for each time we get together.
So, what am I doing for now you may ask. Well, I am going to continue to write about what I am going through, posting it here. This, I hope will encourage others who are going through something similar to keep going no matter what challenges may lay ahead.
For me, each and everyday is a struggle, I now need a walking stick to help me walk and to help lessen the pain when trying to stand up. All the medications make me drowsy, I feel like I am in some sort of a daze and my vision most of the time is a little blurry. The pain is constant and each time I move it makes it worse. Stairs, now become a challenge and take a lot of concentration just so that I don’t fall. Lucky for us, we built a lowest house and only have one step to worry about.